i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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