You made me cry and you don't even care
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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