Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize