just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
