There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
