Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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