remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
