Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
