I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize