He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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