theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize