She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
