I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
