We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
