Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
try to milk me bitch
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