i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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