She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
