let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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