the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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