Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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