i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
