Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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