i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize