im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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