no, he came in my armpit
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am available for nakedness
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
