We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I smell like Dick and happiness
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