she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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