put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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