why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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