Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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