I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
