My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize