we made out on top of his cat.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize