im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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