At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
