Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
