My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
