That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize