He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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