Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Bring me that man meat
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
