I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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