Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
