with your own penis?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
FUCK WHALES
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
