with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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