guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
