I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
