This girl is more easily done than said...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
