dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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