There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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