Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
