the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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