absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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