How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
