how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
