I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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