Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Fuck appropriateness.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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