What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
