I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
