dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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