Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I need moral support for this bender
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
