She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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