there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
